Sunday

Before kids, I viewed Sundays as a day to be refreshed by the spirit after a long week. I so looked forward to learning something new, and feeling my testimony grow. It was a day of total relaxation from the world. I could go to church, come home and take a nap, eat some food, go for a walk through Liberty Park and come home in time to read a good book. 

After kids, I feel like I should achieve a huge reward just for getting to church, and if I'm ON TIME, I should receive a big fudge brownie when I walk through the doors. 

It is much more of a challenge to get to church with kids. The whole morning is full of diapers, dresses, and making sure we have provisions for the diaper bag. Provisions meaning, snacks, toys, books, Emma's puppy, crayons, coloring books, etc. On many occasions we have packed the crayons and not the coloring book, and oh what a fiasco that has been! Lesson learned, Do NOT pack one without the other. I feel sometimes as though we are packing for a weekend vacation when we are only gone for 3 hours.

I think though, that having kids and getting to church is obviously a bigger challenge, but the spiritual reward is still so worth it. 

I was reminded today by my loving Heavenly Father, of just how beautiful and perfect the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is. I walk through those doors, and I still feel home. It's been 5 years since I became active in the church again, and I still feel the spirit burning inside of me as strong as I did the first day I returned to church; I was sitting in the pews with my brother and his sweet wife and their little Tristan. I couldn't stop crying because the spirit was so powerful and so overwhelming.  

My conviction of the gospel is so strong, and it overwhelms my entire being when I think of how grateful I am for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It scares me to think where my life would be today if it weren't for the Atonement.

In Relief Society today, our lesson was about Faithful, Energtetic service in God's Kingdom. President Lorenzo Snow said, 

"Knowing our religion to be true, we ought to be the most devoted people on the face of the earth to the cause we have embraced."

I thought that was a good thought to ponder on. Being a member of Christ's true church, I should be more devoted to doing His work than any other religion. I have truly embraced this life that I have chosen. It is not easy. I still struggle with many of my old addictions from the past. I still think about how much money I had, and how many nice things I owned while I was inactive. But those things only made me happy for a season. In the end, I didn't walk away from that life with any of those things. 

I feel strongly that Heavenly Father is preparing me little by little to do a great work. Matt and I both know that there is work for us to do. I think of our future and feel assured by the Spirit each time that we are on the right path. We have much to do. Though we may not know how we will accomplish it right now, we know without a doubt that God will provide a way for us to get to where we need to be. I feel ready to move on to a new chapter in our lives, and as Christ once said, "Do the work of Him who has sent me." 

I love, love, LOVE this church. It is true. It is full of light and joy. It brings hope. It is an overwhelming testament of God's love for us; that He will never leave us comfortless, He will always come to us (John 14:18)

Have a wonderful Sunday, and if you got to church today with kids in tow cleaned and ready, make yourself a fudge brownie and pat yourself on the back! You freakin' deserve it.

xoxo

Rachel

Just What I Needed...

The beginning of April was General Conference, which we look forward to every 6 months. Not only because we get to gorge ourselves with delicious food non-stop for two days, but because we get to hear the words of the Prophet and be touched by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ. This year was great, and I heard a lot of things that I needed to hear. The talk that spoke to me the most, was by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, called: The Merciful Obtain Mercy (Click the title to be taken directly to his talk). The talk was blunt, and what I got from it was, if you are merciful to others, then that is when you will receive mercy. I have had a hard time holding on to bitter feelings, resentment, and anger towards people from my life, and that is what I'm hoping to change.

An excerpt from his talk really hit home for me:

"I imagine that every person on earth has been affected in some way by the destructive spirit of contention, resentment, and revenge. Perhaps there are even times when we recognize this spirit in ourselves. When we feel hurt, angry, or envious, it is quite easy to judge other people, often assigning dark motives to their actions in order to justify our own feelings of resentment.

Of course, we know this is wrong. The doctrine is clear. We all depend on the Savior; none of us can be saved without Him. Christ’s Atonement is infinite and eternal. Forgiveness for our sins comes with conditions. We must repent, and we must be willing to forgive others. Jesus taught: “Forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not … [stands] condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin”³ and “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”⁴

Of course, these words seem perfectly reasonable—when applied to someone else. We can so clearly and easily see the harmful results that come when others judge and hold grudges. And we certainly don’t like it when people judge us.

But when it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt." (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference 2012, emphasis added)

I was touched by the spirit, and I am still touched when I re-read this talk. When I read this, I feel as if he is speaking directly to me. I don't know how I am going to do it, the anger and bitterness I feel seems to get the best of me every time, but I know that holding on to these feelings is only hurting me, and preventing me from receiving my own mercy and forgiveness. I want with all my heart, to love the people who have hurt me. I want to cheer them on throughout their lives, and wish them all the best. I want to have the hope that someday they will return to the church, and feel the happiness of the gospel that they once had. It's going to be a work in progress, and may take some time, but I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ I can do it. If I can make a comeback from a 3 year hiatus from the Church, change my life, and be forgiven, then I can do this too. I encourage you to read and re-read this talk, it is full of life saving words that is for everyone.

xoxo

Rachel

Entwistle Sealing

On March 26th, 2011, Matt, Emma, and I were sealed to eachother in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. It was such an amazing experience- the whole day was wonderful. Matt and I were able to sit in the celestial room together while we waited for everyone to arrive, and it was a very surreal moment. I loved listening to the promises of the sealing between husband and wife, and when they brought Emma in I about lost it. She was such a good baby and didn't make a peep, just gave Grandma Entwistle a huge smile at the altar. I am so thankful that we are able to be with our families together for eternity. Thanks to everyone who came to support and help with everything, we appreciate and love you all! We had a couple pictures taken, but it was pretty windy and cold, so we are going to reschedule and do an official family portrait when the weather is nicer. Here's a couple from the temple: