For The Kids...

I contemplated making this post private, since what I'm going to put in this post are texts from my sweet husband while we were dating. They are very special to me, and being a private person, it's not my style to share these types of things. I am making this a public post, so that if there is any doubt in anyone's mind of Matt's love for me, this will help them understand. He is truly the most amazing man I have ever known, and I'm so glad I have these messages that I can document to remember forever. 

(WARNING!! It's a love post, so if you can't handle it, back away from the computer now!)

It started when Emma wanted to play with my old, old, old phone (we have a few phones that are out of commission that are now in Emma's toy bin). She brought me this phone, and said, "boke" which means broke in Emma language. I answered, "yes honey, it's broke... let me see if Momma can fix it." I luckily still had the charger to the phone, so charged it we did. 

I love looking at information on old phones, it's like looking back during a certain part of your life, and reminiscing about old memories. I flipped open the phone and looked through all the text messages that I had saved from Matt. One after another brought back a flood of wonderful memories of our courtship. I remembered where I was with each message; I remembered how I felt after I received each one. It is truly a testament to me of how much God's hand played a role in our lives. I have never felt so strongly for someone, and reading these messages reminds me of our path together--the very beginning--to where we are now, with two beautiful daughters and an eternal marriage that will last through the eternities. 

Here are the love messages from my best friend, I hope our girls will read this someday, and see just how much their Daddy loves their Mommy. It is so apparent to me every day, and even more so after reading these messages. I love you Matty, you are all I have ever wanted, and you make me the happiest girl in the world, just like you said you would.

Love Messages From Matty:

2/23/2009 @ 11:35 a.m.: Matt and I had been dating for 9 days... and I received this message while I was at work at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.

"Rachel having you around is like being with one of your best friends and also being crazy about them. That's gay, huh?" (that's classic Matt, it wouldn't be the same if I censored it!)

2/28/2009 @ 8:04 p.m.: I don't remember the context of what brought this message up, but I do remember how it made me feel...:

"Well they're all crazy. Beautiful is kind of an all encompassing package. It's hot, smart, fun, funny, witty, spiritual... Etc. You are all of those to me."

2/28/2009 @ 11:17 p.m.: Matty and I must have been late night texting. Again, I don't remember what I said that brought about his response, but it's sweet nonetheless:

"I won big two weeks ago when we went on our first date."

3/4/2009 @ 11:22 a.m.: Matt and I worked together at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, which is how we met. I worked in Clinic E, and he worked in Clinic C... we didn't tell anyone that we were dating for about 3 months, so it was our little secret that no one knew. We texted back and forth to each other all day. Hence this message:

"Well try working when the only thing you care about is at the other end of the hall."

3/8/2009 @ 2:48 p.m.: Matt became an important part of my life during a very trying time. I had just signed my divorce papers and had no idea what I was going to do next. I was in the process of an intense and painful repentance process with the Bishop and had lost most all of the people in my life who I called "friends". I shared my experiences with Matt often, because he had also been down a hard road of repentance. This message came from one of our discussions:

"You're turning your back on the world all because you believe in something you cannot see. That's a miracle. I love it. It attracts me to you because I can relate."

3/10/2009 @ 2:55 p.m.: I knew I loved Matt very quickly. The feeling came over me while I was out visiting my friend Susie in Arizona. Matt and I had only been dating for 2 weeks, and at the time of booking my flight, I was single and didn't think I would have anyone to miss. During my stay in AZ, I was questioning to myself whether I was in love with Matty or not. I immediately had this intense feeling come over me that to this day, still rocks me to my very core. I knew I loved him. It was just getting him to confess it as well that took so long :) This message came after I had told him that I loved him:

"I want to. That's all. I want to be in love with you. I'm so gay."

3/16/2009 @ 10:34 p.m.: This message needs no background. I still remember this message without needing to look at my old phone. He has stuck to every word, and I have never stopped smiling:

"Rachel, I can make you smile for the rest of your life. Just let me, that's all I'm asking. I will never hurt you. I love you more than you know."

4/12/2009 @ 11:10 p.m.: You really have Matty:

"I'll try my best to always make you the happiest girl in the world."

4/14/2009 @ 11:14 p.m.: I remember receiving this text, and thinking Matt was crazy. We had just gone to dinner, and then watched the movie "Seven Pounds". Nothing amazing, nothing out of the ordinary. He just has a way of making me feel special even when the things we do together are just ordinary:

"Rachel, you were inexplicably breathtaking tonight. I love you more than life itself. Goodnight my love."

4/15/2009 @ 8:06 a.m.: This was the day after our ordinary date night:

"I was so in love with you last night! I woke up this morning and almost felt overwhelmed with happy!"

5/21/2009 @ 3:33 p.m.: I heard this a lot from Matt, and I don't think I will truly ever understand just how much he loves me. I thought that someday I might, but he's right, he really does love me more than I will ever know:

"I love you. You really push me to be the best person for you and that is my favorite quality of yours. Thanks."

After reading these messages in my phone, I knew I needed to write them down before they became lost forever. I want our kids to know what real love is, and they will see it by reading these messages, and watching how Matty treats me. He makes me laugh, even if I ignore his jokes. He isn't afraid to act like a fool just to get a laugh out of me. He loves our girls. He makes Emma laugh daily. He works hard at his job so I can stay home and raise our girls. He understands me. He has more patience than I ever will. He is my best friend and I don't ever want to be without him. I love you Matty! Thanks for making me the happiest girl in the wrold. 

xoxo
Rachel